For a man the decision to pursue sexual relations with a girl is a kind of equation involving:
the difficulty it takes to get said girl into bed
versus
the amount that we want to get her into that bed
1. the difficulty it takes to get said girl into bed
(a)
when the ball is in your court
this includes moral objections. if you feel that you will be morally indicted by having sex with a girl if you are attached, or with a girl who is attached, or if you are just spastic and have something against one-night stands etc, this brings the difficulty number up.
If the girl is fun to hang out with, or intellectually stimulating or what-have-you, it brings the difficulty number down because you're enjoying yourself, and you want to continue spending time with the girl. You like the girl.
But if there's a girl you don't like, that doesn't mean you don't want to have sex with her, or rather, you probably would wanna have sex with her if the difficulty number was brought down lower than the amount you want to get her into bed - e.g. by having her walk up to you and offer you no-strings-attached-sex. You want the girl you hardly know to offer you an unexpected blow-job. That would just make your day. the difficulty level is zero, and her attractiveness is one, hence you will still fuck her. On the other hand, if I went up to a strange girl and offered just to eat her out, no-strings-attached, she would likely not be too keen on the idea. which brings me to my next point
(b)
when the ball is in her court
There are basically only two things that separate a women from your bed.
1. she has to like and, respect you.
for this principle, the discrepancy in theory and practice is probably the largest. in theoretical terms- the sub-heading explains it all. the practical aspect is one which guys spend all this time worrying 'how can I get this person in the sack', what do I say, what do I buy, what do I do? all this is part of this side of the equation.
Generally, the personality of the person she is having sex with is a big part of the sexual act for them. That's why they get so hung-up about men 'objectifying' women- because they can't separate sex from the person, they're both part of the same package. Its dumb to confuse separate ideas, but i suppose they're biologically engineered that way or something.
2. her individual reservations about sex
i guess the moral barrier is the paramount issue here- whether she's willing to have sex with a guy she just met, or go out on X number of dates with him, wait until marriage, whatever. If you can measure those two factors then the rest is downhill.
Women consider themselves 'sexual creatures' and all the other terminology they've established over the years, but their sex is linked up with all these other emotional concepts.
The amount that we want to get her into that bed
to use the aforementioned example, if a girl is really physically unattractive, then most (not all) wouldn't say yes to a no-strings-attached blowjob.
if the amount you want to get her into bed. is at zero then even if the difficulty level's low, it still isnt enough to make you want to sleep with them.
it works like most things in life- there is a very strong correlation between the reward and the efforts and risks involved.
the difficulty it takes to get said girl into bed
versus
the amount that we want to get her into that bed
1. the difficulty it takes to get said girl into bed
(a)
when the ball is in your court
this includes moral objections. if you feel that you will be morally indicted by having sex with a girl if you are attached, or with a girl who is attached, or if you are just spastic and have something against one-night stands etc, this brings the difficulty number up.
If the girl is fun to hang out with, or intellectually stimulating or what-have-you, it brings the difficulty number down because you're enjoying yourself, and you want to continue spending time with the girl. You like the girl.
But if there's a girl you don't like, that doesn't mean you don't want to have sex with her, or rather, you probably would wanna have sex with her if the difficulty number was brought down lower than the amount you want to get her into bed - e.g. by having her walk up to you and offer you no-strings-attached-sex. You want the girl you hardly know to offer you an unexpected blow-job. That would just make your day. the difficulty level is zero, and her attractiveness is one, hence you will still fuck her. On the other hand, if I went up to a strange girl and offered just to eat her out, no-strings-attached, she would likely not be too keen on the idea. which brings me to my next point
(b)
when the ball is in her court
There are basically only two things that separate a women from your bed.
1. she has to like and, respect you.
for this principle, the discrepancy in theory and practice is probably the largest. in theoretical terms- the sub-heading explains it all. the practical aspect is one which guys spend all this time worrying 'how can I get this person in the sack', what do I say, what do I buy, what do I do? all this is part of this side of the equation.
Generally, the personality of the person she is having sex with is a big part of the sexual act for them. That's why they get so hung-up about men 'objectifying' women- because they can't separate sex from the person, they're both part of the same package. Its dumb to confuse separate ideas, but i suppose they're biologically engineered that way or something.
2. her individual reservations about sex
i guess the moral barrier is the paramount issue here- whether she's willing to have sex with a guy she just met, or go out on X number of dates with him, wait until marriage, whatever. If you can measure those two factors then the rest is downhill.
Women consider themselves 'sexual creatures' and all the other terminology they've established over the years, but their sex is linked up with all these other emotional concepts.
The amount that we want to get her into that bed
to use the aforementioned example, if a girl is really physically unattractive, then most (not all) wouldn't say yes to a no-strings-attached blowjob.
if the amount you want to get her into bed. is at zero then even if the difficulty level's low, it still isnt enough to make you want to sleep with them.
it works like most things in life- there is a very strong correlation between the reward and the efforts and risks involved.
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